I need loyalty
everything staying in its place
trust and respect
for faithfulness is woefully underrated
However, certain of my possessions have squandered this pact
choosing greener pastures
apparently discontented and now truant
Why don’t they remain in their place?
Then, they return
but by then I may not recall their absence
as my neurons shrink and synapses misfire
however, all is again momentarily well
until the inevitable next time
My future? This brain of mine disappearing my loved ones
Of course, how will I know?
My first job, if you will, was fretting about my family
as if a 12-year-old could form a clear picture
I knew joy and laughter were sorely absent
in this festering family abscess
but lacked the experience to formulate how askew we were
as silence dripped into a pervasive roar
It was the day in-day out, unadorned resignation
kinship and camaraderie absent
during my solitary life of reading and writing and wondering
but never sharing
So why not perform an exorcism on this loneliness and solitude?
neither was welcomed
and import touch, embrace and warmth
Ha!!! The goddamn lesson I learned is that hope and deserving fall woefully short when butting heads with colossal need
that children will inherit the legacy when adults are woefully damaged
that it’s carved in caves prehistoric and never not to be
For a child cannot fix parents
Grace has eluded me.
In my search, I swam the seven seas
rode the four winds
appealed for help from those in the high heavens
hired Sherlock Holmes
inquired with Interpol
lamentably, all to no avail
Grace never responded
all was silence
my pleas and petitions going for naught
my entreaties and beseeching just fading echoes hurtling into the void
On the bright side however, no accusations of stalking have ever been leveled at me
Then came the shocking news.
GRACE MADE AN APPEARANCE!!!!!
But minus me.
I failed without ever being in consideration
But she was of Irish heritage and so was I
Alfred Hitchcock even owned a house here in Scotts Valley
I have qualities so many envy
Settling for the prince of a shrimpy 500 acre monarchy?
Graceless, I am