Painful truth

My first job, if you will, was fretting about my family

as if a 12-year-old could form a clear picture

I knew joy and laughter were sorely absent

in this festering family abscess

but lacked the experience to formulate how askew we were

as silence dripped into a pervasive roar

It was the day in-day out, unadorned resignation

kinship and camaraderie absent

during my solitary life of reading and writing and wondering

but never sharing

So why not perform an exorcism on this loneliness and solitude?

neither was welcomed

and import touch, embrace and warmth

Ha!!! The goddamn lesson I learned is that hope and deserving fall woefully short when butting heads with colossal need

that children will inherit the legacy when adults are woefully damaged

that it’s carved in caves prehistoric and never not to be

For a child cannot fix parents

Fill-In-The-Date Narcissus

Grace has eluded me.

Damn her.

In my search, I swam the seven seas

rode the four winds

appealed for help from those in the high heavens

hired Sherlock Holmes

inquired with Interpol

lamentably, all to no avail


Grace never responded

all was silence

my pleas and petitions going for naught

my entreaties and beseeching just fading echoes hurtling into the void

On the bright side however, no accusations of stalking have ever been leveled at me


Then came the shocking news.


But minus me.

I failed without ever being in consideration

But she was of Irish heritage and so was I

Alfred Hitchcock even owned a house here in Scotts Valley

I have qualities so many envy

Settling for the prince of a shrimpy 500 acre monarchy?

Graceless, I am