Ump sez ‘you’re out’

Forever on the outside looking in

a hall of fame no-win shoo-in

guilty of the being boring sin

an off balance of yang and yin

chagrin camouflaged by a goofy grin

often anorexic at the gravitas weigh-in

taken one too many on the chin

perennially searching for a life plug-in

in charge of the human waste dustbin

whirled too often by faulty human spin

being quite the deluxe Zelig stand-in

Same Old, Same Old, Nothing To See Here

I saw the light and extinguished it

flowers convulse and wilt from my stare

razzing orphans gives me endorphins

But hell no, I’m not an abhorrent person


Green Berets avert their eyes

special ops, they cross the street

wherever I’m out doing my predator strut

But hell no, I’m not a dangerous person


I see Satan as Diogenes just dressed in red

most humans are rotting organic matter

foreclosing on widows should be an Olympic sport

But hell no, I’m not a disgusting person


My crew chopped up Buddha, crucified Christ

humiliated gods in ways not nice

yep, being while Black is a judicious pre-crime

But hell no, I’m not a vile person


Attila’s Huns did pretty damn good

card-carrying members of cruelty and sin

it’s a club on earth with a long waiting list

But hell no, I’m not a loathsome person


Saints and sinners, losers and winners

ah, these dreary days of whiners and accusers

it’s always been gold, not golden, rules

But hell no, I’m not a repulsive person


I’m just a normal: president, governor, CEO

lawyer, mercenary, priest, FOX talker,

movie mogul, judge, hedge fund owner.

hey, evil is just live spelled backwards