More damn questions

Is “Bringing in the Sleeves” adapted from the tailor’s hymnal?

Is it just in the South that folks cottoned to slavery?

Wasn’t the sole Old Testament method of burying the hatchet into someone’s skull?

Jesus was a Nazareth High alum but did he have any higher education?

Is three sheets to the wind referring to a mini-Ku Klux Klan ride?

Weren’t the southern gentry known for the hit song “we are our brother’s keepers”?

Qs minus the As

Why isn’t it unlawful to poach eggs?

I’m Irish so shouldn’t I have become a Catho-holic?

One of my early crushes instructed me to make my arse sparse — did literal me do the right thing by joining Jenny Craig?

I was born minus wisdom teeth — am I a protected class?

Where exactly is it that poetic justice is the law of the land?

Are pain-in-the-ass relatives ingrown ingrates?

The Silent Life

Not too long after squeezing out of the womb

encountering the first of many inferred admonitions

my proferred alms became assurances

“I’m just here to observe”

My blankness thus ingrained, designating me negligible and safe

 

Yes, I indivisible-ized myself

choosing residence in the shadows

abiding in my multiple sanctuaries

facilitating a minimalist social repertoire

in a life of frugal mercies

 

Banking facts, figures and ideas

my stockpile of interactive fuel

aided by ghostly guide dogs for the tentative and unsure

quiet reading, yes. silent viewing, okay. thinking (to myself), affirmative.

expressing feeling? danger !!! danger!!!

 

What about questions?

is the stone to be polished or rolled away?

as if I knew anything about either

fleshing these bones — a step too soon?

for to speak is to create a real me

Damming Up Life’s Stream of Consciousness

Maybe this evokes an intermittent John Prine-ish note? A touch of John Callaghan? Possibly Rodney Dangerfield? Ha! Yeah, right. Still rising to becoming a grateful human being.

So please read the following with an imaginary blues riff inserted between each. Or maybe a rim shot.

It might cause traffic to come to a stop and sightseers to gawk

but do wheelchair users ever get challenged to walk the walk?

 

I feel like a forever party of one and for that I’m seeking a panacea

But luckless me has never even witnessed the face of Jesus on a tortilla

 

So if it’s Colonel Mustard in the cloister with an ever-burgeoning cross

doesn’t that make all religious dogma just a clueless albatross?

 

Imagine the handful Jesus was throughout his early teens?

so why did it take him so long to finally spill the beans?

 

I’m not sure if I’m Saturday night or Sunday morning

it depends on which Mary Magdalene role I’m performing

 

How does one become not just proficient but good at suicide?

have a body to subdivide like good old Jekyll and Hyde

 

My favorite band of all time is Lot’s Wife and the Saltines

with hits like “Nazarene Obscene” and “Peron the Argentine”

 

Were the Apostles truly the first and only fight club?

Is it true their ringmaster was none other than Beezlebubb?

 

I’m training guide dogs for the atrociously empirically impaired

those savantless idiots who believe Norwegians all drive Fjords