Same Old, Same Old, Nothing To See Here

I saw the light and extinguished it

flowers convulse and wilt from my stare

razzing orphans gives me endorphins

But hell no, I’m not an abhorrent person

 

Green Berets avert their eyes

special ops, they cross the street

wherever I’m out doing my predator strut

But hell no, I’m not a dangerous person

 

I see Satan as Diogenes just dressed in red

most humans are rotting organic matter

foreclosing on widows should be an Olympic sport

But hell no, I’m not a disgusting person

 

My crew chopped up Buddha, crucified Christ

humiliated gods in ways not nice

yep, being while Black is a judicious pre-crime

But hell no, I’m not a vile person

 

Attila’s Huns did pretty damn good

card-carrying members of cruelty and sin

it’s a club on earth with a long waiting list

But hell no, I’m not a loathsome person

 

Saints and sinners, losers and winners

ah, these dreary days of whiners and accusers

it’s always been gold, not golden, rules

But hell no, I’m not a repulsive person

 

I’m just a normal: president, governor, CEO

lawyer, mercenary, priest, FOX talker,

movie mogul, judge, hedge fund owner.

hey, evil is just live spelled backwards

Alphabet Soup

Picked up a couple of foreign words who were out hitchhiking

puzzled when they inquired how they could compensate me,

I finally said “two syllables apiece, yes, that would do just fine”

“We only know milky cows” they exclaimed, “no silly bulls”

 

They disagreed with me that phonetics was a Nokia etiquette app

and that syntax wasn’t the financial result of a Baptist/Catholic merger

Fortunately, our tête-à-tête was set aside for a musical interlude

as we sang a saucy rendition of “you say tomayto, I say tomahto”

 

One turned crimson when I brought up the basics of conjugation

replying “make nouns, not me, the subjects of your prepositions”

I responded angrily “your synonyms are my antonyms”

as we resolutely failed in developing any lingua franca

 

Arguing over adverbs being the driving force in commercials

I punctuated my vehemence with “pronouns aren’t for amateurs”

we eventually came to conclude it best to call the whole thing off

and, for a more copacetic journey, we switched to sign language

The Musical Saviour

Maria birthed herself a baby named Jesús

José was pissed, “he don’t resemble me”

an outlier was the blue-eyed, blond hair tyke

“I’m so much more than my looks,” he said

yes,  Jesús was on it early.

 

“Mamá and papá, I’ve been anointed to think big”

José rolled his eyes, Maria just smiled

“I’m bound for glory beyond these sands of Sonora”

“I am willed to start a mariachi jazz band”

“we’ll charge nothing and fill the plazas with the future”

“I heard a messiah complex is spreading rapidly,” said José tongue in cheek

“so be careful, you know there’s no vaccine as yet”

“don’t you upset the cartel,” warned Maria. “Pilato is extremely protective of his gold, myrrh and frankincense trade”

“is your plan to live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse,” deadpanned José

“No,” said Jesús, “But my licks will last forever”

 

José and Maria tried everything — conversion therapy, military school, a vegan diet, even heavy doses of amplified Lawrence Welk music

however, Jesús was not to be sorted out

you believed in him, or not — he didn’t need to reciprocate

a calling is a march forward, no slowing, sidestepping, or deadliest of all, explaining

 

in succeeding years, Jesús’ trumpet licks sharpened and his lyrics enlightened

however, naysayers still taunted, “hey snowflake, can’t you find a halo that fits?”

but fans and a few groupies mostly stayed loyal especially sold on the wine and fish produced before the concerts

“we are sound to the deaf, sight for the blind, food for the soul” was the band’s mantra

yes, Jesús and Los Discípulos (Juan, Pedro and Pablo) were vested

 

“selling what people can’t buy is the worst of all business plan” snorted José, “hire a consultant”

“I’m a not for profit prophet,” answered Jesús

periodically,  Jesús also misspoke

‘time heals all wounds’ sometimes came out as ‘time wounds all heels’

in his late 20s, Jesús developed a tick of sorts, visibly shuddering whenever anyone in his company exclaimed, “nailed it”

even the best doctors could not reach a diagnosis, much less a cure

one wizened, elderly physician called for an invasive history-ectomy

“we must remove that part of his brain foretelling coming events”

but nothing happened since Jesús could never meet his deductable

 

soon the federales began taking a harder look at Jesús

his riffs badgered for liberation versus the status quo

he and his ragtag crew expanded to an international following

his lore galloped past that of even Pancho Villa and Emiliano Zapata

then, avant-garde Jesús suddenly disappeared

the musical revolutionist joined the many thousands, especially the students, women and campesinos, who vanished forever, the desaparecidos who were never to be seen again, be it due to government or cartel forces actions, or, as some say inexplicable predestination

 

A few natives swore Jesús returned shortly afterwards, as a proprietor of a nondescript bath house specifically designed for washing feet just outside of Juarez

as such, the holy infidel mocked authorities with one last act

he charged nothing

try bastardizing that gospel.